


Jolly Holiday

by Venstar



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Mary Poppins AU, bond as bert, i mean just go with it, q as mary poppins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 06:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venstar/pseuds/Venstar
Summary: There were some children in trouble, some children in need, and you’ll find that this story is about them, indeed.





	Jolly Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> basically, i love taking a classic and twisting it, as you've seen. it's an obsession, especially if it fits, so hold on to your kites, i am having a mary poppins moment....

A small crowd of pedestrians and bystanders out for a stroll had gathered in an open area, drawn as they were, to a broad shouldered man who was covered in pastel chalk.  Smudges on his face and dark grey coat.  He touched his fingers to the brim of his hat asking the gents if they’d like him to draw their lady for them.  With a nod from his customer and a penny placed into his hand and he was off, kneeling and sketching with a sure hand.

“What name do you go by, sir?”  A child out on a stroll with his nanny asked over his shoulder.

“Bond, James Bond.”  James said, a smile on his lips for the innocent soul before it was tugged away at the urging of his nanny.

The chalk dust swirled up as a strong wind blew through the park, James pushed his cap back, revealing close cropped blond hair, he sat back on his heels to look up.  Blue eyes reflected the watery light from the suddenly darkening sky.  He licked his finger and held it up, testing, testing.

"Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin' is brewin' and bout to begin. Can't put me finger on what lies in store, but I fear what's to happen all happened before." James turned his attention back to the crowd, his customers. Some of them were frowning at his odd behavior.  They themselves had felt the change in the wind, their shoes and hems a bit more pastel from the chalk dust.

There were some children in trouble, some children in need, and you’ll find that this story is about them, indeed.  

 

\----

 

In the Mallory household, lived a father with two beautiful children, no mum to call their own, and he was a very busy man, running MI6.  Spies didn't watch themselves.  The children, Eve and Bill, had gone through several nannies, through no fault of their own, but this time, their ninth nanny had reached her final straw.  

 She came marching back to the Mallory townhome, a picture perfect domicile with cherry trees shading the front.  She was alone, none of her charges with her.  Face red and the hem of her skirts were covered in mud, three inches high and the maidservant and footman couldn't be sure, but they think she was missing a shoe.

 She huffed and puffed her way up the stairs and slammed her belongings into her case.

 “Oh, Nanny Jean, where are the children?”  The maid asked as she followed the nanny, frowning slightly at the mud, thinking of the extra work she would have to do.

 “I don't know, I don't care.  They have made a fool of me for the last time.  Run off from the park, laughing as you please.  Menaces.  You can tell Mr.  Mallory to send my last check to the agency.  I'm leaving now.”

 “Oh, but you can't!”  The maid cried, “who will watch the children?  Please stay Nanny Jean.”  The little maid tugged on the nanny’s arm.  

 But Nanny Jean had had enough, she’d been muddied, run down, dinners missed and it was enough.  She thought herself above such things.  Children should be seen, not heard and these two monsters were the worst of the lot, in her opinion.

 “No, no, no.”  She yanked her arm and her case away, and made her way unevenly and ungainly down the stairs and pressed her nose right up to the door.

 The footman, not sure what to do, did as he was trained and opened the door, and there went poor Nanny Jean, away.  Grumbling and complaining on her way out, under the cherry trees and past the front gate.  

 “No, no, no!”  She stamped her foot once on the sidewalk and marched off down the street, leaning to the left just a bit.

 When they were alone, the maid and footman looked at each other.  They did double duty, sometimes quadruple duties in the house, such small staffed that they were, they didn’t have time to watch the children, much less chase them about London, they didn’t even know to which park they had gone!

 “What do we do?”  The maid asked her fingers twisted in her apron with worry.

 "I don't know.  Mr. Mallory isn't due home for a bit, should we go look?”  The footman asked.

 “I don't see how, I have to get dinner ready and you have to man the…”

 KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 The maid and footman glanced uneasily at each other at the unexpected knocking at the door.  And since his job was to open the door, the footman slowly cracked it open once more and peered out.  With a gasp he swung it open, to reveal a girl of eight with dark curls and a boy of ten, his hair plastered to his head.  They were in a horrible state, mud on their clothes, rents in their coats and scratches on their faces.  The footman opened and closed his mouth like a codfish.  At the clearing of a throat, he looked up.

“Begging your pardon, but do these belong to you?”  The constable escorting the raggedy duo asked.

 “Oh, Miss Moneypenny, your hat!”  The maid had peeked over the footman's shoulder.  “Young Mr. Tanner, your kite!”  Miss Moneypenny’s hat was hanging off by a pin, the flowers on it wilted and it looked like something had taken a bite out of the brim.  Mr. Tanner, well his kite that he had worked so hard on, had two jagged tears in it and it was missing it’s tail.

 At the maids remarks, the lower lips of the children quivered and they spoke at once.

 “We didn't mean to!”

 “It was a particularly windy day!”

 “We did our best, honest.”

“Is papa home?”

 The maid and footman opened the door wider and ushered the children inside.  Leaves and dirt followed them in and the entry way was muddied.  The maid tutted, more work for her to do.

 “They had an awful fright.”  The policeman said.  “Chasing their kite across the park, it is a windy day, but they were determined, and then they lost.”

 "What's this, what's this?”  

 At the sound of their papa’s voice, the children turned solemnly to face him, their adventure smeared all over them.

 “Good gracious!  This is the state I find you in?  Where is that Nanny, to allow such a disgrace.  And in public, I have a reputation at MI6, I can't have the PM see you in such shambles.”  Mr. Mallory ran a hand through his hair, his nerve endings frazzled.  

“Don’t be so hard on them sir.”  The constable said.  “They had an awfully hard day, chasing their kite.”

“Chasing their kite!  Through the park!  Look at you, you’ve ruined your nice things and all for a silly little kite.”  Mr. Mallory snatched the torn and filthy thing from young Mr. Tanner’s hands.  “It’s going in the bin, you mark my words.”

 “Aw, sir, they saw it as their responsibility, go easy on ‘em.”  The constable tried to interject.  “They made the kite themselves, by their words, your honor.”

 Mr. Mallory glared at the constable.  “Do you have children?”

 “No sir.”  The constable answered quietly.

 “Then you don’t know what you’re talking about.  Eve, Bill that is the most absurd thing I’ve heard.  Chasing a kite at the expense of your appearance.  Well, you’ll get no dinner tonight.  I want you cleaned up at once and thinking about what you’ve done, and how not to do it next time.”  Mr. Mallory nodded at the two children and walked away.  “Footman, see the constable out.  Maid, take care of the children and remember, no dinner.”

 “I’ll see myself out sir.”  The constable answered back, with a growl.  

“Fine, fine.”  Mr.  Mallory said, retreating into his study.

 “Well, that’s all and good.”  The maid said.  She plucked at the children on their shoulders.  “Come along then, it’s not that bad.”  She said, trying to mollify Eve and Bill as they sniffled quietly.

 “We didn’t mean no harm.”  Bill said.  “It just got away!”

 “It’s not our fault!”  Eve protested tearily.  “We couldn’t let it get away, Bill worked so hard on it, that tail took ages to get weighted properly.  I hope papa doesn’t truly bin it.”  She looked down the stairs at the flickering light coming from their papa’s study.

 “Never mind that.” The maid said.  “It’s upstairs and cleaned up for dinner for the two of you.”  At the top of the landing, she stopped and let them go, she put her hands on her hips.  “I trust I can trust the two of you to freshen up and change into something nice and neat for your father?”

 “Yes Miss, we can.”  Eve replied, Bill nodded next to her.  

The maid, believing in them, nodded her head and then rushed back down the stairs. The children turned to do as she said, but halted at the sound of their Father’s voice.  

 “Miss.  After dinner, I’ll need to compose a letter for a new nanny.  I can’t have your time and the footman’s time wasted, chasing after my children.  When I’m done with it, have the footman deliver it to the newspapers, to put it in the classifieds.  If that Nanny service disappointed me, I’d hate to see what else they send me.  No, I shall do this on my own and find the right person.  A Nanny with an iron fist, to take the reins.”

 Eve and Bill glanced at each other as their Father walked back into his study.  Eve chewed her lip and Bill rubbed the top of his head.  

“We must think on this Eve.”

 “Too right, I haven’t liked any of the Nannies that Father has picked.”  Eve said.

 “Father is going to write an advertisement for one, well we should write one too.  We have requirements, don’t we?” Bill asked, he began to search for pencil and paper to write their letter.

 “Yes.  I want her to be nice, play games, not smell funny, like camphor.”  Eve’s voice rose in excitement.  

 They ran softly and quickly back to their rooms, to compose themselves and their letter of hire.  They scribbled and scribbled, going through draft after draft, until they had the perfect thing in their hands.  It was with ill fortune and ill temper that found their innocent letter shredded and placed in the fireplace with despair.  Oh the tragedy of it all.  They would be saddled with another incompatible Nanny.  With heavy feet and heavy hearts, they retreated to their rooms and waited for the morning.  And it was with this simple twist that the Nanny of their desire, came drifting through the clouds.

 The sidewalk was lined, as was the children’s faces, as nanny after nanny queued behind one another, to answer the ad put in the paper.  

 “I can’t watch this.”  Eve said, she let the curtains fall and moved to lie on the floor in a pile of sad.

 “They all look the same.  Like they smell of camphor.”  Bill grumbled.  He stared out glumly for a few more moments before letting his curtain fall and joining Eve on the floor.  “What are we going to do?”

 “Try harder?”  Eve asked.  “I’m pleasant?  Aren’t I?”

 Bill nodded, “You are.  We are.  I don’t understand.”  They lay together on that floor, waiting for the day’s interviews to finally start, so it could be over and their nanny assigned.  

 Grey clouds rolled in suddenly, a fog thick and heavy along with a hard and steady wind.  It howled through the streets, an East Wind, ill and fearsome.  It rattled the panes and debris clattered against the houses and line of nannies.  Eve and Bill jumped up from their desolate huddle on the floor and raced to see what the commotion was about.  Their mouths dropped open, as the line of nannies was blistered and battered by the heavy wind.  A heave and a ho and the nannies were blown away to the children’s astonishment.  They looked at each other for confirmation that each had seen the impossible happen.

 “Did you…”  Bill started, his voice trailing off, he couldn’t finish his sentence.

 “See the nannies…”  Eve whispered to him.

 And they both finished.  “Disappear!”

 “Oh gosh!”  Eve exclaimed.  “What can it mean?”

 “Look!”  Bill pushed his face and finger against the glass. “Oh look, look!”

 Eve pressed her face against the glass to follow Bill’s finger and excitement.  Her eyes widened and she watched along with her brother at the strange sight before them.  Above the rooftops of London, a strange, dowdy figure in plaid pants, mustard brown cardigan, all covered in a drab olive anorak came drifting down through the clouds, blown by the East wind to Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London. The wind caught under his umbrella, gently lifting and pushing him into the narrow streets.

 He landed with a little bit of grace and a flurry of economical motion, folding his umbrella and tucking it under his arm.  His feet marched swiftly and evenly down the sidewalk, bringing him directly to the door of the Mallory residence.

 “At least the rabble have been swept away.”  He muttered to himself as he waited for the door to open at eight o’clock a.m. on the dot.  He checked his watch.  It was thirty seconds past eight.  “I do so like an inefficient hiring process.”

 The maid opened the door at 45 seconds past eight and opened her mouth to announce, something, but the dowdy figure on the doorstep simply stepped past her and told her to be quick about closing the door and not keeping people waiting.  The maid gaped at the once full sidewalk, before shutting the door and her mouth, quickly taking the umbrella and coat thrust at her.  

 “I shall see myself to Mr. Mallory.  The front parlor, correct?”  The figure, more svelte, now that his dowdy coat had been removed said.  He tugged on his cardigan and marched forward into the parlor with a brief knock on the door.

 Mr. Mallory looked up with a start at the scarecrow of a figure upon his parlor doorstep. “What’s this?”  He asked, for there was nothing else to ask.  

 “Ah.  Mr. Mallory.  How do you do.  I’m Q, I’ve come about the nanny position as advertised by your letter.”  Q held up a letter and read it out loud to Mr. Mallory.

 Mr. Mallory looked stunned, at the shredded and re-taped letter that Q was holding.  He looked towards the fireplace, where he was certain that he had discarded the children’s absurd note.  Q continued to speak as Mr. Mallory moved to peer into the fireplace, the letter was gone.

 “I believe I fit the requirements.  I must tell you though, while this sounds lovely, I must insist on being firm with the children.  I find a bit of firmness along with some unstructured play, makes for a happy child, don’t you agree?”  Q looked up to see Mr. Mallory mumbling into the fireplace.  “Oh dear.  I see.  Mr. Mallory?  Mr. Mallory!

 Mr. Mallory hit his head on the mantle as he stood up swiftly.  “I beg your pardon?”

 “As you should.  Now, I have a few requirements of my own that we must agree on, before I begin working for you.”

 “Um oh, yes, of course.  Requirements.”  Mr. Mallory mumbled.  He felt around in his pockets.  “What are they?”

 And so it was that Q, became the new nanny at Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, to Bill and Eve.  

 Bill and Eve, stood staring at this oddly dressed person, claiming to be their nanny, as he inspected their nursery.  It was quite a mess.  Dolls, pencils, soldiers and paper were scattered all about.  Eve quickly kicked a block under her bed, hoping that Nanny Q wouldn’t notice.  He did.

 “Now, Eve.  We are not footballers.  Please don’t kick your belongings.  Your father worked hard to provide those for you.”

Eve flashed a guilty look at Bill and pulled the block out from under her bed with her hands.  “Yes, Q.”

 “Now!”  Q clapped his hands.  “This place needs tidying.”

 “Tidying!”  Eve and Bill exclaimed together.

 “Yes, tidying.  Good heavens.  You don’t expect to go out and play without first tidying up this room do you?”

 “Er, well…”  Bill mumbled, looking at the floor.  There were quite a few of his soldiers looking at him quite seriously, as if they were tired of being on the floor, rather than at their posts.

 Q smiled at the children’s thoughtful looks.  He set his carpet bag down and put the rest of his belongings that he had picked up from the maid as he made his way upstairs into it.  The children’s mouth dropped as the umbrella dropped straight in, without sticking out.  Q rummaged around up to his shoulder, until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a full sized apron.  “There we go.  Now, all we need is a bit of music and the work will be done in half the time of a half-time song, right!  Right.  Let’s go!”  

 With a snap of his fingers and a swipe through some dust, Q began to sing.  It was a cheerful, upbeat tune that made the children laugh.  They quickly pitched in to clean, but had to stop for a moment as a sparrow flew through the windows and landed in the bird's nest of Q’s dark hair.

 “We’re friends.”  Q said and lifted a finger to poke at the small bird.  It whistled at him before flying back out the window.  Bill followed the bird, shutting the window, so no more would come in.  “Right, brilliant!  All done.  Look at that.  What a splendid job!”

 Eve and Bill looked around at all they had achieved in the length of one song.  

 “Not bad.”  Bill said.  He elbowed his sister.

 “It was rather untidy.  I kept stepping on my dolls and tripping on the blocks.  Oh, but couldn’t we do a bit more Nanny Q?  There’s still a few things not right!”

 “No, no.”  Q shook his head.  He took off his apron and looked at his watch.  “We’re on a tight schedule as it is.  Put your coats on and let’s go to the park, spit spot!  Spit spot!”  

 The children ran to do as he bid while Q pushed his apron back into his carpet bag and retrieved his olive-grey coat and umbrella.  

 “Alright, let me see you.”  Q said.  The children lined back up.  Eve adjusted her hat and Bill rubbed his nose on his sleeve.  “Well, I’ve seen worse.  You’ll do.  Let’s go.”  Q marched briskly out of the room and with one efficient and smooth move, took a graceful seat at the top of the banister and slid down.  

 Eve and Bill’s mouths dropped open at the sight.

 “Father NEVER let’s us do that!”  Eve whispered in delight.

“Well, Nanny Q is in charge so, I’m doing it!”  Bill answered his sister and whoooooooop, down he went.  A little less graceful and a lot more clumsy, but he made it, landing with a thump at the end.  He turned back to his sister and waved hurriedly, as Q was nearly at the door.

Eve took a deep breath and steeled herself.  She took a more delicate perch and slid down, landing softly and ran to join Q and her brother.  She had a smile for both of them.  

 

\----

 

Bond was on his knees, his cap perched at a jaunty angle, not merely for fun, but to shade him from the afternoon sun peeking out.  He was humming a small tune as he sketched chalk picture after chalk picture on the concrete, in front of the park gates, scooting along as coins were tossed into his art bin.  

 The shadow of a silhouette fell across the picture he was starting, blocking the sun.  

“Now, hold on there, hold on!”  Bond said, and with tongue poking out, he quickly sketched in the sharp silhouette with wild hair.  “Now.  I know that hair.”  Bond pushed his cap back and knelt up, to smile at the trio in front of him.

 Eve whispered around Nanny Q, to whisper into Bill’s ear.  “Nanny is blushing!”

 “Sssshhh!”  Bill hissed, but he watched the interplay between Q and Bond.

 “Nonsense.  I never blush, but I do hear everything.”  Q said down to his charges.

 Eve and Bill had the grace to blush.

 “Ah, ah, ah, you’ve got to be at the top of your game, if you want to get anything over on our Q.”  Bond said, speaking to the children, a gleam in his eye.  

 “And I suppose you’ve gotten something over on Nanny, have you?”  Bill asked, his chin tilted down in a sulky challenge.

 “Well now…”  Bond rubbed his chin, getting chalk on his face.

 “Really, Bond.”  Q said, readjusting his coat and umbrella.  “What nonsense will you be telling these young ears?  I don’t want to hear it.  Children, this is Mr. Bond.  Mr. Bond, these are my charges, Eve and Bill.  Do keep your silliness to a minimum, thank you.”

Bond raised his cap.  “Hello.  Well, if they’re your charges, I imagine they’ve seen some spectacular sights already.”  Bond leaned forward and covered his mouth and stage whispered to Eve.  “Have you seen him fly yet?”

 “Bond.”  Q said, his words clipped out.  “Really.”

 Eve shook her head, her eyes wide.  “No, but he did slide down the bannister!”

Bond threw back his head and laughed.  “Is that all, Q?  What on earth have you been hiding from these kids?”

Q looked away from Bond’s questions.

 “Can you fly, Nanny Q?”  Bill asked, his eyes as wide as Eve’s.  “A bird did land on his hair this morning.  Is he a bird?”

 Another laugh filled their ears as Bond shook his head.  “He looks a bit like a bird, doesn’t he.  Wearing his nest on his head instead of in a tree.”

 The children giggled.  Q looked as if he’d stumbled across nothing more interesting than an ant.

 “No, there’s another sort of magic about Q.  Now, he’s taught me a few things, we’re old friends we are.  Let me see what I can remember.”

 Q looked at Bond sharply.  “What are you going to do?”

 “Oh nothing.”  Bond said, he stood up and marched along his pictures.  “Now, children.  Pick one of these, any of these, that you’d like to visit and I’ll take you there.  Using the magic that Q has taught me.  He’ll want to see if I’ve improved!”

 “Bond, really.  What nonsense.”  Q tsked at him, but smiled back at Bond’s impertinent wink.

 The children ran eagerly up and down the chalk drawings, selecting and rejecting them, until they came running back to tug on Bond’s coat tails.  

 “We found one, we found one!”  Eve and Bill yelled as they jumped around the sketch they had chosen.

 “Careful now, don’t smudge it.”  Bond said, as he made his way over.  

 Q followed at a slower pace.  “This, I have to see.”

 Bond clapped his hands.  “Okay, now what you want to do is wish that you’re there, spin around three times and then everyone hold hands, close your eyes and we jump, into the sketch.  Got it?”  

 Eve and Bill nodded.  They performed as Bond has asked aaaaaaaaaaand JUMPED!  Poof!  Right into the sketch and chalk dust wafted up.

 “Nothing happened!”  Bill exclaimed.

 “Did we ruin the picture?”  Eve asked softly, she gingerly tried to step out of it.

 “Now, where did I go wrong?”  Bond asked, humming to himself.  

 Q stared hard at him.  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.  Move over, move over.  Everyone, hold a hand.  I swear Bond, will you never pay attention.  Alright.  Everybody, one, two and three!”

 As one again, they jumped.  

 “Blimey!”  Bill exclaimed as he looked around.

 “We’re in the picture!”  Eve squealed.  “Oh look!  My dress!  How pretty!” Eve twirled around and around, her white lacy skirts swirled around her legs.

 “My suit!”  Bill said, patting his hands over himself.  “Where did this come from?”

 "One must be prepared for every eventuality and one can not go running off on an outing without the perfect outfit.  It’s a special day today.  We’re just in time for a ride on the carousel and then to see the races, over that hill.”  Q said.  He finished brushing the chalk dust off of his white suit and held his elbow out for Bond to take.

 “With pleasure, Q.  With pleasure.”  Bond said, as he linked elbows with Q and walked the path with the children.

 Eve and Bill squealed their delight at the brightly colored carousel, jumping up and down they asked permission to ride it once more.  Q smiled gently and nodded, waving them along.

 Bond called after them.  “We’ll meet you after the ride, I’m going to take Q for a stroll.”

 “Bond.”  Q said, squeezing his arm.

 “Q?”  Bond asked, winking and holding Q’s arm tighter.  “I’m afraid that if I don’t take my time with you and enjoy today, it’ll be ages before we’re here again.”

 Q sighed.  “You know how I travel.”

 “I do, but it’s been too long this time.  Come along, there’s a lovely cafe just over here.”  Bond said and tugged gently on Q’s arm, guiding him along the chalky path.

 Eve and Bill watched as their chaperone’s walked slowly along.  Bond’s head tilted just so to Q’s and Q in turn, leaned into his arm.  

 Eve whispered to Bill.  “Do you think…”  

 “Think what?”  Bill asked.

“That they like each other?”  Eve asked, her voice still in a whisper.

 Bill shrugged his shoulders.  “Adults are funny.  You never know what they really like until they tell you.”

 “But, does Bond like Q?”  Eve asked.

 “Who wouldn’t?  Q is awfully nice.  Eve, are we gonna waste our time guessing what adults are up to or are we gonna ride this carousel?”  Bill asked, his tone turning into a tired whine.

 “I suppose it doesn’t matter if we think they like each other.  Only if they like each other.  What would it be like to have them as parents?”  Eve asked Bill, as they entered the carousel and chose their rides.

 “Dunno.  They’d be less fun, that’s for sure.  Responsibility would hit them because they’d have to take care of us day in and day out.  Come on, let’s ride.  HA!”  Bill let out a whoop and the carousel started.  

 The children became delightedly distracted by the ride and put aside the thoughts of Q, Bond and romance.

 Bond however, had not forgotten about romance.  He pulled Q’s chair out, flirted, teased and brushed some more chalk out of Q’s dark curls.  He had missed Q, who was right, it had been too long since they’d seen each other.

“Flatterer.”  Q said, his sharp chin in his hand as he studied Bond and his efforts before him.

 “Are you flattered?”

 Q laughed.  “Always, especially if it comes from you.  I have missed this.”

 Bond sighed.  “One day.  One day, we’ll have forever.”

 “Until then, it’s bits of time.”

 “When someone is in need.”  Bond said sadly.

 “Children are always in need.”  Q smiled gently.  “And one day, you’ll need me, more than the children will, and that’s when I’ll come home.  I’ll settle.”

 “Settle!”  Bond said, comedic outrage on his face.  “Settle.  I like that.  I’ll have you know, I had two offers of marriage just last week.”

 Q laughed again, bright and cheerful.  “Yes, Mildred and Eloise!  Such minxes.  Children adore you Bond.  Are you sure you wouldn’t consider going into my line of work?”

 Bond shook his head and sipped from his tea, he nudged Q’s closer.  “No.  My home is London.  The city is always calling me and it’s people always need me.  I would do them a disservice if I abandoned my efforts to entertain them, clean up after them and bring my own kind of magic to their lives.”

 “But are you happy?”  Q asked softly.

“Are you happy?”  Bond asked in return.

“It’s always a jolly holiday with you, Bond.”  Q said.  “Always.”

“Well, I’ll drink to that!”  Bond raised his cup and sipped from it.  His eyes twinkled over the rim and as he set it down, Q leaned over the small table and stole a kiss.

“I’ll kiss to that.”  Q murmured against his lips, causing Bond to laugh, and then he had a lapful of wiggling, kiss stealing Q.

Q and Bond returned to the carousel arm in arm.  The children beckoned and pleaded that they join them.

“Oh just one turn, just one time around!”  Eve pleaded.

“Come on Bond, come on Nanny Q, once around as a group!  We’ll have a race!”  Bill shouted, waving his hat.

“A race?  That’s silly Bill, you can’t have a proper race on a carousel, someone will always be behind or in front, how can you tell who’s winning?”  Eve asked.  

Q and Bond mounted the ride and chose a sturdy steed.  

“Well I don’t know.”  Bond drawled out.  “Perhaps Nanny has a suggestion.  Nanny Q is rather intelligent.”

“Really, Bond.”  Q huffed as he secured his grip on the ride.

“Please Nanny Q, please?” Eve pleaded.  “Can you race them?”

Q looked thoughtful for a moment and caught another wink from Bond.  “I suppose there might be SOMETHING I could try.  But no promises.”  He shook his finger at the group and nodded to the carousel attendant, who started the ride.  “Alright, and we’re off!”

 “Wheeee!  Oh!”  Eve squealed and clung tighter to her pink seahorse.  “Look at me!  I’m rising off the ground!”

 “AAAUUGH!”  Bill yelled, as his blue unicorn took off after Eve.  

 Bond followed in a much more enthusiastic manner than Q, cheering his horse on, trying to catch up to the children.  Q just shook his head and held his reins carefully in his hands.  

 “Children.”  He whispered to himself.

 Their splendid outing was cut short, as a sudden, vexing rainstorm appeared out of nowhere, spoiling Bond’s drawings, their colorful world smudged and smeared around them.  Q called the children close to him and opened his umbrella.  They found themselves in the grey world of London, rain on the street, the concrete and all of Bond’s drawings were floating away.

 “Oh, but you worked so hard on them!”  Eve cried, tears in her eyes.

 “There’s always tomorrow and tomorrow never dies.  I’ll have more days than you know, to draw some more.  Can’t always keep things the way they are, don’t you know.”  Bond patted Eve on the head.

 “No.”  Q said.  “But you can catch your death of cold.  Come under this umbrella Bond, or be about your business.”

 Bond winked at Q.  “I guess I’ll go about my business.  Roofs might be leaking, chimneys may be backing up and they’ll want a chap who can fix either.  Goodbye children, Q!”  Bond pulled the lapels of his coat about his neck and took off at a run, through the park.

 “Well, I never.”

 “He was nice.”  Eve said.

 “I liked him.  Can we see him again?”  Bill asked.

 “It’s possible.  He appears when you least expect him.”

“Like you Nanny Q?”  Bill asked, sticking a hand out to play with the rain.

 “Oh no, we’re two very different creatures.  Come along, we’ll have a spot of tea and then it’ll be nap time.”

 The children groaned.

 

\----

 

It wouldn’t be long, before they ran into Bond again.  This time, it was on Q’s day off and the children had a bit of a scare.  Q had convinced Mr. Mallory to take his children to MI6, and while they couldn’t go far into the building, he convinced Mr. Mallory that it was important for the children to see where Papa worked and a bit of his responsibilities.  What the children hadn’t been prepared for was an emergency at MI6, due to a mishap in less classified section of R&D, where tried and true products were stored and out of time with the rest of the world.  One of the Quartermaster’s storage areas.  They had accidentally caused the mishap and the ensuing emergency.  In the chaos and yelling, they ran and ran and ran, until they ran smack into Bond.

 “Hey now, hey now!”  Bond said, as he came to a sudden stop as two small bodies hurled around a corner and into his midsection.  He grabbed them instinctively and they fought him.

 “Let go, let go!”  Both children cried out, kicking at his ankles.

 “What’s this!  Here now, it’s me, Bond.  Eve, Bill, calm down.”  Bond spoke softly to the children, who finally turned their faces up at him.  They were crying.  “What happened?”

 “Oh, Bond!”  Eve cried and threw her arms around the familiar face.  “Oh gosh, you’re all dirty!”

 “‘Course I am.  But what’s this?  Where’s Q?”  Bond looked over her shoulder and around the street.

 “It’s Q’s day off.  Papa took us to work.”  Eve sniffled.

 “It was awful.”  Bill whispered.  “I touched something, and it went off and then people were running and yelling and alarms.”

 “So we ran.”  Eve whispered.  “But now we’re lost.”

 “Here now, here now.  You’re not lost now, you’ve found me, haven’t you?”  Bond asked, he grinned down at the kids, his grin bright white in his sooty face.

 “Yes, we have.”  Bill said, he sniffled into his sleeve.  “Eve’s right though.  You’re filthy.  What have you been doing?”

 “Why, I’ve been doing one of the most noblest professions.”  Bond said, clasping his fist over his chest.

 The children’s eyes went wide.  “What?”  They asked.

 “Chimney sweeping.  Somebody’s gotta do it.  Think of it, without me, London would suffocate!”  Bond exclaimed, his arms wide to encompass all of the skyline.

 Eve giggled.  “It is a very important job.”

 “That it is.  But I can see that I have a more important job right now.  Helping you get unlost.  Come on now, I’ll walk you home.”  Bond turned and the children followed along behind.  Their silence was unnerving.

 “Papa’s going to be mad when we get home.”  Bill said.

 “Nah.”  Bond said.  “He won’t be mad.  He’ll be glad you’re safe, is all.  It’s a tough job, being your father.”

 “Is it?”  Eve asked.  “I wouldn’t know.”

 “Course he has a tough job.  Poor sod.  Having to trudge into work every day, rather than staying home to play with his kids.  Having to be in an office full of adults who are dull and stuck in the same building, away from their families.  Why do you think I’m out here, in the park, chimney sweeping?  Huh?  It’s so’s I don’t end up like your father, bless his soul.  It’s a tough life, I wouldn’t want to do it.”  Bond elbowed Bill.

 Eve and Bill fell into another contemplative silence at Bond’s words.  It was a sad troupe of children and a chimney sweep that arrived at Cherry Tree Lane.  The maid let them in, thinking Bond had been hired to sweep the chimney and that the children had gotten up to mischief.  She tsked and tutted at them.  

 “I’m not your nanny.  We’ll let Q or your Father sort you out when they get home.  Sweep, I’ll show you to the front parlor, you can start in there.”  The maid said and she strode briskly away.

 Bond shrugged his shoulders.  “Come on you lot.  It’s a paying gig.  If you pay attention, you might learn something.”

 Bond and the children were busy, busy in the parlor, learning the intricacies of how to clean a chimney proper.  

 “Watch out for that draft though.”  Bond said, as Bill felt a sharp tug.  “It’ll pull you up right quick.”

 “Up the chimney?”  Eve asked.  “No, it won’t, you must be joking.”

 “I’m afraid he’s not.”  Q said from the parlor entrance.  “Really, Bond.  What on earth are you thinking.  Letting the children get so dirty.  What will their Father say?”

 “Reckon a little dirt never hurt nobody, Q.”  Bond said.

 “Watch him!”  Q shouted, as the draft suddenly caught Bill and pulled him straight up the chimney.  Eve grabbed hold of her brother, trying to keep him down, but zoom, up she went as well.  “Bond.  Really!”

 “Hey, I warned him!”  

 “For goodness sake, come on.  We have to retrieve them.  Come along.”  Q opened his umbrella and zoom, up the chimney he went.  Bond followed with his spare broom.

 “Q!”  Eve and Bill shouted as the two adults appeared on the rooftop.  

 “It’s beautiful!”  Eve exclaimed as she turned slowly about, taking in the london skyline.  The sun was starting to drop, fires were lit in homes and the smoke drifted up.  Warm lights twinkled and the traffic purred along on the streets below.  “Oh look, there’s the constable!”

 “Don’t wave at him!”  Bill said, catching Eve’s arm.  “We’re in enough trouble as it is!”

 “How do we get down?”  Eve asked, worry written all over her soot lined face.

 “Why, the same way we got up here.”  Bond said, leaning on his broom.

“Oi Bond!”  A voice called from the rooftop over.

 Bond waved.  “Look there, my fellow sweepers!”  

 “Havin’ a bit of a party are you?”  Another voice from another rooftop.

 “You know it!”  Bond yelled across to another friend.  “Join us!”

 “Bond, we have no time for this nonsense.  We must get the children back down and cleaned up before their father gets home.”  Q said, shaking his umbrella at Bond.

 “Here now, what’s this I hear?  Q saying that there’s no time for nonsense?  The world has ended, who are you, where is the real Q?”  Bond asked lifting up Q’s arms to search underneath them.  “Foul creature, reveal my Q.”

 “Nonsense.”  Q said, smiling at Bond.  He tugged on his arms and as Bond released them, he ruffled Bond’s hair.  “Is it time to step in time?”

 Bond grinned wide.  “It’s always time to step in time!”

 “What’s that?”  Eve asked, she jumped up and clapped her hands.  A little soot puffed up in her excitement.

 “Watch.”  Bond said.  He put his hands to his mouth and called out across the rooftops.  “Step in time!”

 An echo from another rooftop called back.  “Step in time?”

 Bond responded.  “Step in time!”

 Eve and Bill gasped as chimney sweep after chimney sweep echoed Bond’s cry across the rooftop.  They popped out of their chimney’s and made their way leaping and dancing across until they got to the Mallory’s rooftop.

 “Oh how exciting!”  Eve exclaimed.  

 Q led them back to set on the brick around their chimney to sit and watch as the chimney sweeps performed a bit of acrobatics and dance for the children.  

 “Can you dance like that Q?”  Bill asked as he jumped up and down in his own excitement.

 “Hardly.”  Q said, his tone dry as he observed and clapped.  “Oh, be careful Bond!”  Q hissed with a warning as Bond and the rest of the chimney sweeps balanced on a particularly sharp and steep rooftop.

 “Come on Q, step in time!”  Bond crowed from his his lofty perch.

 “Oh no.”  Q said shaking his head.  “Oh no, no no.”

 “Come on, Q!”  Bond called.  He swooped in and grasped Q, twirling him about.

 Eve and Bill laughed in delight, as Q was passed from chimney sweep, to chimney sweep in a graceful polka.  

 “Look at him go!”  Bill shouted, clapping his hands in time.  

 Eve and Bill gasped at the sight of the endless set of spins that Q seemed to be engaged in.  

 “Look out!”  Bond cried.  “The admiral has us in his sights!  Run!”

 The children gaped at the bright fireworks that shot past them, cutting into the dancing fun.  The retired Admiral two blocks down had seen their crazy antics and had decided to fire his rooftop canon at them, to disperse the merry making.  

 “Take cover!”  Bond yelled.  

 The chimney sweeps ran for the Mallory chimney and nearby chimneys, in an attempt to escape.  Q merely gathered Bill and Eve up in a calm manner and escorted them to the parlor chimney and popped them down quickly.  They were caught by the other chimney sweeps that had made it down first.  The maid was screaming as the men continued their dancing and singing as they tried to exit.  

 “Oh what a mess!”  Eve said as the carpet and furniture were soon covered in a fine layer of soot.

 “What’s all this!?”  Mr. Mallory’s voice boomed through the townhouse, from where he stood in the doorway.  A dark figure and a thunderous look on his face.

 “Bond.”  Q said softly, from where he and Bond had been watching the antics.  He nodded to Mr. Mallory and Bond got the hint.

 He whistled to his fellow sweeps and they made a hasty retreat.  Q gathered up the children and headed up the stairs, to clean up or to hide.  Bill and Eve weren’t sure. Which.

 Mr. Mallory gaped as the sweeps filed out and Bond called out.  “Be right out when I’m finished, sir!”

 Mr. Mallory looked into the parlor, Bond was finishing up the chimney.   He spoke into the air, over Bond’s shoulder.  “I don’t understand.”

 “Wouldn’t be the first time I heard that.”  Bond said.  “You’d be surprised how many people don’t understand something.”

 Mr. Mallory shook his head.  “I don’t understand my children.  They have the best that money can buy, people to look after them and they do this.  Antics.  Antics at my workplace, in my home, where people can see them!  After their Nanny suggested it.  My boss nearly fired me today for the accident in R&D.  Had the Quartermaster not stepped in and admitted that he had perhaps misplaced some items that weren’t supposed to be in there, by his own faulty memory, I would have been fired.  Could have been fired.”

 Bond listened as he gathered up his tools.  “Aw, sir.  They’re children.  All they want in life, is a bit of play and someone to share in it with.  When’s the last time you got down on the floor and got a bit of soot on your face.”

 Mr. Mallory looked down his nose at Bond.  “Never.”

 Bond pushed his cap back.  “Well then sir, they’ve only got so much time before they have to enter into your world don’t they.  Where they’ll be run ragged and have bosses to tell them what to do, when to do it.  See me, I’m a free creature, don’t got no boss I don’t want when I don’t want them.”

 “That’s absurd.”  Mr. Mallory said.

 “Aye, it might be.  But as I see it, your children are just being children.  For as long as they can, when they can and that’s not so bad, is it?”

 “No.  No, I suppose not.”  Mr. Mallory said.

“Might do you good to remember what it’s like to be that young and that full of energy.  Now, I’m not saying go dance on your rooftop or blow things up at your job, but I good turn or two about in the park might do the trick.”  Bond suggested.  He pushed his cap back down.  “Right then, that’s me, all squared away.  It was nice meeting you sir, your children are a delight, tell them I said so!”

 “Mmm yes.  I will.”  Mr. Mallory frowned down at the floor as Bond took his sooty leave.

 “Father?”  A small voice called out to him from the entrance of the parlor.

 Mr.  Mallory lifted his head.  Eve and Bill were standing hesitantly at the threshold.  They were scrubbed sparkling clean, with clean pajamas and finely brushed hair.

 “We didn’t mean to.”  Eve whispered.

 “We’re sorry.  About the room.  We’ll help pay for the damages.”  Bill said.

 Mr. Mallory frowned even harder as they stepped forward and offered a tuppence each, to him.  Small coin in his hand, but to a child, it was worth oh so much more.  He sighed.

 “Well that’s just silly now, isn’t it.”  Mr. Mallory said.  His children lowered their hands and studied their toes.  “It wasn’t your fault.  The old Quartermaster had some items stored where he shouldn’t have put them.  No one knew they were there, least of you.  It’s alright.  You keep your tuppence.”

 His children looked up at him, with tears in their eyes.  He pulled out his handkerchief and wiped along their faces.

 “Oh dear, I fear I’ve done more harm than good.”  He whispered at them.  They look confused for a moment.  “You see, I haven’t changed from after the chimney being serviced and there’s soot all on me, and now on your faces!”  Mr. Mallory laughed at his brand new sooty children.  They laughed along as they ran to the mirror over the mantle to see that indeed, all of Q’s hard work in scrubbing their faces was for naught.  

 “Oh, poor Q.”

 “Yes, poor Q indeed.  That nanny.  What adventures you have had with him.  Perhaps tomorrow, we’ll have some of our own.”  Mr. Mallory smiled at the reflections of Eve and Bill.

 “Oh yes, papa!”  Eve and Bill cried, before remembering themselves and lowering their voice.  “Yes, papa!”  They gave Mr. Mallory a hug each and ran back upstairs, the front of their pajamas just as sooty as their faces.  

 

\----

 

“Q?  What are you doing?”  Eve asked, as Q was putting his belongings into his seemingly endless carpet bag.  “Surely, that didn’t all come from there.”  She murmured.

 “Course it did.  Where else would it have come from?”  Q asked as he shoved a hat rack down into the bag, followed by a potted fern and several books.  Eve’s face gaped open.

 “You’re packing up, aren’t you.”  Bill said softly, holding out a pair of house slippers to Q.

 “I am.”  Q answered, taking his shoes.

 “But, you just got here.”  Eve said.

 “I’m here for as long as you need me.”  Q said.  He tucked a rolled up carpet into his bag.

 “But, we need you.  Who’s going to watch us?”  Bill asked.

 “Your father, your next nanny, if you get one.  You’re of the age where you can start looking after yourselves and well, that means you don’t need me.  I only stay with children, who truly need me.  And you need has come and gone.”

 “Couldn’t you make an exception?”  Eve asked.

 Q sighed and put his tea set into the bag.  “I would love to make an exception, but if I did, then I’d have to make them for every child that needed me and then I would miss the time of leaving and arriving at the right time.  You know how I detest being tardy.  Punctuality is important to me.”  

 The children’s faces continued to fall as one by one, Q packed his belongings, until the carpet bag was full, by Q’s determination.  

 “There, I think that’s all.  Now, come and see me out.  I hate long goodbyes.”  Q said.  He gave them brief hugs as the footman opened the door.  The children retreated to stand with the maid.

 Mr. Mallory chose that precise moment to come strolling into the entranceway, with his hands full of kites.  “Oh, there you are Q, children.  I thought I would take them to the park, for a bit of fun and some kite flying.  Would you like that Eve, Bill?”

 “Oh would we!”  The children shouted and ran to their father.  

 Q smiled and took that moment to exit Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London.  He stopped at the park and found Bond, at the entrance, drawing some more with a thin audience.  Bond looked up at Q and read the look on his face.  He dusted his hands, stood up and held his elbow out for Q to take.  They entered the park, arm in arm.

 “You’re leaving.”  Bond said softly, he rested his head on the top of Q’s dark curls.

 “Yes.  My time is up.”  Q said, he leaned into Bond.

 “I’ll miss you.”

 “We’ll see each other again.”  Q said, he stopped at one of the open lawns and turned to face Bond, his hand clasped in his.

“We’ll find each other, once more.”  Bond said, he smiled at the dark haired imp standing before him and lowered his head.  Q allowed the kiss and returned it.  Bond stepped back, out of Q’s reach.  “Farewell Q, don’t stay away too long, this time.”

“I won’t.”  Q said.  He opened his umbrella and there came a sudden change of wind, calm and steady.  It lifted Q, a dowdy figure in plaid pants, mustard brown cardigan, all covered in a drab olive anorak, he drifted away, through the clouds.

  
THE END.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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